Just Flowers Chapter 14

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March 13

"Where are we going Connor?" Jen asked, knowing the answer.
"I thought we could visit our place."
"I want you to take me home. I'm not feeling very good."
Connor turned to her. "Not everything is about you. Plus I have to show you something."
"I've already seen the flowers, Connor. Thank you for the necklace, I love it, but I really feel sick. Take me home."
"What's your problem?"
"I wanna fucking go home!" she yelled.
"Shit, Jen, calm down. I'll take you home in a minute."
Jen looked at him. She was exhausted. She was sick. Her fever had spiked, she could feel every part of her burn. The air was clammy and hard to breathe. Tears started to pool on the rims of her eyelids.
"Don't do that. You can't get out of everything by crying," he said, taking the keys from the ignition.
"Take me home," Jen whispered. She could feel something bad coming her way, but she was too far in now, too deep into it all to claw her way out.
Connor unbuckled and slid to put his arm around her.
"I thought we could park for a while."
"Does it make a difference to you at all that I feel like shit? Or do you just not care?"
"Come on, just for a little while."
"No, take me-"
Connor put his hand over her mouth and her heart began to race.
"Just let it happen," he said through gritted teeth, pushing her head to the window with one hand and unbuckling her with the other. he took his hand off her mouth and moved it over her body to her jeans and started unzipping them.
"Connor, don't," Jen said in disbelief.
She was crying now and Connor had unzipped her pants and pulled them to her ankles.
"Jen, just go with the flow," he replied, kneeling above her, undoing his own pants.
It occurred to her than she hadn't tried to physically stop him, so just as he put his hands on the elastic waistband of her panties, she grabbed his hand and sat up. Looking him square in the eye, she said, "Stop it now."
He made a disgusted face at this and pushed her so she hit the seat. Her heat banged the door and a blast of pain exploded from the back of her skull. Connor, now angry, ripped her panties down the side and slid into her as she cried out. Jen was frozen for a moment by shock, but then started making her plea for freedom.
She slapped his face a handful of times before he started to fight back. He punched her in the shoulder, making sure to keep clear of the face, but disregarded this self imposed rule when she scratched him. One closed hand fist to the jaw was enough for her to give up. Once she had quit defending herself, Connor continued to assault her.
Jen felt like vomiting. She was crying so hard now she thought she actually might. Her whole body shook and her heart rate was uneven. At one point near the end, she looked into her assailant's eyes and saw something in them she hadn't seen in a long time.
Connor was the one to look away first and it was all over as quickly as it had started. He got off her and left the car as Jen did her best to get a hold on the situation.
She pulled on her pants and sat up on the seat. Pulling the sun visor down, she looked at her reflection. She was dead. Her eyes were dead and her jaw was swollen.
Swallowing nervously as Connor came back in the car, Jen watched him. He started the engine and they were soon back in town.
"Why?" Jen asked after two or three failed attempts to speak.
Connor said nothing.
"I wanna know."
He was silent, staring forward.
"Why couldn't you just respect me Connor? Do I mean nothing to you?" she cried, fed up with his unwillingness to answer. "CONNOR!"
Jen pulled on the steering wheel, swerving them right and almost into a fire hydrant. Connor made a face as if he had sucked a lemon, but still refused to answer.
"FUCK!" she screamed, winding up and carrying through a punch to his jaw. He slammed the breaks, sending Jen's forehead to the window and his own to the steering whee.
Jen sat back, carefully touching the spot she hit. As she pulled her hand away, she noticed blood and immediately went for the door. Connor saw this and hit the lock button on his side and continued driving.
"I wanna get out here. Let me out," Jen said, thinking that she would like more than anything to hit him again.
"You can't."
"What he fuck do you know?"
"You could get hurt."
"I think you did a good job of that already. I'll be fine."
"No."
"Let me out."
"No! You asked me to drive you home and I'm going to."
"'Cause you always keep you promises right?" Jen mocked.
"Yes."
"Like when you said you respected my decisions to not fuck you?"
Connor looked away and turned down the street.
"You better not tell anyone."
"Good luck asshole. I'm telling my dad the second I get home, then after he kicks the shit outta you, I'm telling my brother and he'll kick whatever shit's left in you out again."
"You better fuckin' not."
"Why, scared?"
"You think they'll believe you? You honestly believe that anyone will think you didn't want it?"
"You think I wanted you to rape me?"
"Oh, I didn't rape you, darling. We made a consensual decision to lose out virginities to each other just like in the movies. And it was sweet and romantic and we went to the place I first said I love you and that's the story everyone will hear."
"That's shit."
"But that's what everyone will hear first. No one will think anything else happened."
"You asshole."
"Sticks and stones, baby."
"Was this the plan all along? To string me along until just before I dump your ass then hold me down and rape me for the fun of it? Or was it impulsive because you knew that next year I'd be moving forward with my life and you would be stuck as a bag-boy for Extra Foods."
"I never meant it," Connor said with a smirk on his face.
"Too late."
"No, when I said I loved you. I didn't mean it."
"I don't care. We're through anyways."
"I heard someone say you were easy so I figured I'd get an effortless lay then dump you."
Jen tried to hide that the words stung.
"But after two dates and nothing, I decided I'd wait. I could do with a few weeks of role playing if it meant that you'd put out. Then after a year, I thought about dumping you, then wondered if I could have my cake and eat it too. You know Kelly Braun? Fucked her. Lilly too. And Bryn."
"Liar."
"Don't believe me? Ask any one of 'em. They weren't as frigid as you."
"You're a goddamn liar!"
"Mmmm. Bryn was the best though. You could hear her moan for miles."
"Stop it!"
"The way she said my name, too. Oh god. The shit she let me do. Wild, that one."
"You're lying! Bryn would never fuck you!"
"She would. And she did. Again and again and again."
"Shut up shut up! You're too much of a pussy to even tell the truth! Why are you bringing her into it?"
"Here's where you get out," Connor said, unlocking the door.
Jen got out and just before she slammed the door, Connor leaned over and said, "Make sure to clean up that cut."
After the door closed, Jen ran to the front door and heard Connor yell something else, but let his words fall from her mind. All she wanted was a hot shower and to call Bryn.
More than anything, she needed a sense of normalcy. She needed something to show her that everything would be okay. Jen turned the door knob and entered the house, trying very hard to keep her composure.

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