Checkers

So part of the reason I even wrote my novel(la - as Touer puts it), is actually because of Touer. Yesterday, I got an email from him that included his novella. He had asked me (and two other people, as it was addressed to multiple people) to read it and give constructive criticism. Finally, after almost four months, I got to read it, the little piece of his soul he had written over the summer.
While I was reading it, I was overwhelmed with the desire to write my own story (or to finish at least the second draft). I was sad, however after the first chapter of my own story that the dialogue was not believable, the characters were somewhat melodramatic and the plot just was not realistic enough to have people suspend thier disbelief.
Touer's such a good writer, and although I do enjoy writing, making up characters and plots and dialogues, I have this feeling of standing in his shadow. In my grade, I may be one of the better writers, but that is just a big fish in a small pond, so to speak. When you're surrounded by people who can't do something, you look all the better for being able to do it.
Yes I'm better than my friends at writing, and they know it. KC doesn't write fiction, and I can't even fathom Janelle sitting down to write a serious piece of literature. It's nothing against them, it's just that that is not who they are.
This is perhaps the same reason that in eight months I will be (hopefully) starting my diploma course for Pharmacy Technician as opposed to a BA in Fine Arts. In my family, I am the only one who paints (or at least I have felt like starting up again) and support is there in the form of "oo I like this one". Of course, I may be too sensitive to enter into an arts profession professionally. It was Caitlyn (and Janelle and KC, actually) who had said that the painting I sold was my best.
I took this in the wrong way, of course. Their words, though sounding perfectly nice to them, meant to me that I had hit my high point (it must have been when I was around 14, since we still lived in the white house in Veg) and everything was downhill from there. Subsequently, I stopped painting.
It wasn't my art course I took (I took it only because in grade 11 I dropped physics and needed to make up for the lost credits) that made me feel like painting again, I don't think there was one occasion in particular, but I've had the want to do it. I think over the Christmas holidays I will bring my paint to Sherwood park and paint.
The problem with it is that I don't start out with an idea. I mostly do abstract paintings and they all come out seeming like I try too hard. Maybe because I don't really know how to paint. Maybe because I have no formal training, but I personally feel that that can ruin creativity (or maybe I'm just saying that because I suck at painting). No offense if anyone who reads this has been formally trained in painting.
It was funny... I was just thinking about when people ask if you are a social-language arts person or a math-sciences person. I'm actually an language arts-sciences person. Biology for sciences, and pretty much anything except for Shakespeare reading comprehension in Language arts. Maybe it's just all plays or all Shakespeare. I don't do all that well when there is only dialogue in a story (adding to the reasons that I am so bad at writing believable dialogue in stories) or play.
Well now I'm playing internet checkers - something very frustrating so I'm gonna pay attention to my game. HEH HEH HEH